5 Things I Learned Returning to Work Post-Partum (for the second time)
Two whole weeks have passed since returning here to my second home after my second maternity leave in four years (whoa).
And for those who have experienced, or may experience in the future, the transition back to paid work, it can be A LOT. So here is my humble share about what I’ve learned. And please remember, everyone’s individual experience is unique to them. Returning to paid work is a choice that I made for ME. What each of you choose is valid and okay. I promise!
1. My mental health is important too.
Being at home with my two kids for a year postpartum was important to me as a mother. However, my career also holds value in my life. Experiencing postpartum depression after both my kids really highlighted for me just how important my mental health is. After my first maternity leave and upon returning to paid work, it was then I truly realized how much my job contributes to my mental health (in a positive way). And I know this may not be the case for everyone. And there are so many other facets that impact mental health and well-being too: exercise, nutrition, social support from friends and family, the list goes on. For me, being able to give back to society through my work as a physiotherapist, adds joy and wellness to my mental health in a way that can’t be fulfilled otherwise. And ultimately, being in a healthier place mentally allows me to show up for my kids as their mom in a way that I am proud of.
2. My brain still works!
Being away from my career for a whole year felt daunting, especially in a field where the research is ongoing and lifelong learning is a standard. I had some anxiety and concerns coming back, thinking “What if I forgot everything?!” But let’s give ourselves some credit here. Being a mother can feel all-consuming while on maternity leave, but our brains still enjoy the social and intellectual challenges that can come with work. Of course I felt “rusty”, of course I didn’t perform exactly how I did the day I left. And that’s okay. Transparency leads to understanding, and being transparent with my patients in those first couple weeks helped both of us be in a position of empathy and honesty. Fortunately for me, the patients I did see were understanding and so welcoming – so thank you!
3. Childcare I fully trust, is crucial.
The transition back to paid work can feel stressful in itself, but the question of “Who is taking care of my kids while I’m at work?”, can be debilitating. I spent a whole year taking care of my second child, day in and day out. And now I’m expected to just hand them off? Of course we feel anxious. Of course it’s a big decision. So in order to help not just your child’s transition, but your own, find childcare that you fully trust. I was lucky enough to have a wonderful daycare experience with my first child, and built a trustworthy relationship with them. So handing off my second child felt easier (not easy, but easiER). Having less stress about my child’s well-being while at work has been a relief.
4. The transition still takes time.
No matter how many times you return to paid work from maternity leave, it will always be a transition. The second time around, I knew that giving myself the time, space (and grace) to find my footing, figure out my work-life balance and shift my priorities would be necessary. Time management is of course a new challenge now that a certain number of hours daily are dedicated to a different load. Errands and chores that I had most of the day to accomplish now need to fit around work and time with the kids. Prioritizing quality time with the kids after work may mean staying up a bit later to empty the dishwasher. It’s easier said than done, there’s no question in that. And I’m still figuring it all out, two weeks in. But there’s no rush. Transitions don’t happen overnight. And that’s okay.
5. I love my kids JUST as much as when I was at home.
Dedicating any part of your life to taking care of your kids is something to be proud of. But that shouldn’t take away from the pride of returning to paid work, while still being a mother (if that’s what you choose to do). My love for my kids is not measured in the amount of time I spend with them daily, but the quality of that time. When I have time with my kids, I do my best to make sure I am present, supportive and loving. Just because they don’t see me during the day does not erase or minimize that relationship I’ve built with them. They know I love them, no matter where I am. And it helps to say it out loud, not just for them, but for ME.
